I used to work with an Australian guy called Tim. He used to hop in my car to grab a lift to work. We would always talk about random crap that made us cry with laughter. One of the conversations was about super heroes. With all the great superheroes that were born with awesome powers, we wondered why there are never any comic books about heroes who got the short end of the stick when it comes to powers. One example would be if a person's only power was to turn into a rhinoceros every time they ejaculate (courtesy of Ben Pawsey). Anyway, one idea for a superhero's unfortunate ability would be for them to defecate out of their eyes, instead of their anus. I almost crashed the car I was laughing so hard. We spent ages in traffic laughing about the ins and outs of owning this power.
Anyway, today is Tim's birthday. He moved back to Australia a couple of years back so I can't drown him in beer. So this is for you Tim. Happy Birthday!